Do you feel expanded or do you feel contracted? đľď¸ââď¸
The mind will tell you that you have to do A, B, and C when you want something. But none of that is true. Itâs a wild goose chase from your ego. đŚ
You only need to feel into your body and FEEL, what are the sensations in my body about this?đ§ââď¸
Am I expanding or contracting?
Then you do the thing that expands you.
Repeat. đđ
Dear money.
I am angry that I donât have more of you. I am sad you never spend more time me. And I just wish you would stay longer. I have fun with you when you’re here, but you always leave. I have fun when youâre around, and then contract when you leave. I want you to show up in greater and greater amounts, and I want to have even more fun with you!
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Ok, so I literally write a whole letter to money $$$$$$. Like 2 pages. (Thank you Genevieve Rackman for the idea) I told money why I was mad at it. Why I resented it. What I wished it would do differently in our relationshipâŚ. and how I wanted money to show up for me.
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And it took me about 5 min to realize that alllll my emotional patterns concerning money are the same as the emotional patters I have around a romantic boyfriend lover in general. (And more specifically my ex) Generally I love money, and we have fun together and I love spending it. (I felt this way about my ex as well.)
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However, when I went deeper in my letter to money I was mad that I didnât have more of it. I was sad that it never stayed. I felt like I always wanted more money but it never showed up as much as I wanted it to. And drumroll pleaseâŚ. I felt the same way about my ex-boyfriend!! I had the same issues / resentments / desires / and projections upon âmoneyâ and I did on âwhatâs his nameâ. I have been bewildered as to why money doesnât who up more for me. And I spent most of my last relationship being bewildered as to why my âexâ didnât show up more either!
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It is so interesting and such a revelation that I am literally having the same relationship dynamic with money as I am with having a boyfriend! When money is around I have a great time! When my ex-boyfriend was around we would have a great time. When I felt like he wasnât going to show up I would contract. When I felt like money wasnât coming I would contract also.
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I have done a lot of clearing and belief restructuring around money the subject / energy of money, and all in all we have a great relationship. But we do have a commitment problem. And a consistency problem. And a moving to the next level problem.
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Which, now that I see the underlying pattern in my consciousness Iâm not surprised. I’m only supported it took me so long to notice! Iâm so good at spotting underlying subconscious pattern. But Iâm not too worried about it. I am going to let my subconscious mull this pattern over and ill make a decision as to how to change and shift the energy next week. It will probably involve energetically deleting and ejecting an archetype running in my psychic. It may involve a death ceremony for the archetype. Not sure. But it will shift. And I will have and create a new deeper and committed relationship with money.
Iâve been going through an inner transformation lately. Of twisting and shedding and SEEING what really needs to be seen. My logo is an owl for a reason. My favorite thing to do is to see through the dimensions and see what is hidden. I am going through and having downloads that I KNOW are even more foundational pieces for my work on the planet.
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I have been feeling in my body what I really want. And all this time I thought that I was going for what I REALLY REALLY wanted⌠but now I realize that I was going for what my ROLES / ARCHETYPES wanted. Which is very different than what my soul wants and deeply desires.
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My inner victim is busy playing out a victim/martyr role with my part-time job.
My inner abandoned invisible child is busy trying to get money.
My inner abandoned invisible child USED to be busy tying to be acknowledged by my ex-boyfriend.
My con-artist / self – saboteur is terrified of being found out – about anything.
My job is âplaying outâ the role of my mother.
My business is âplaying outâ the role of my father.
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So all these things Iâve been saying that I want to ‘have’… have really been from my roles. They are what my roles /archetypes want. None of it is what I really want. As I am feeling deeper and deeper into myself it is being revealed to me that I want to feel more deeply nourished. That I want to feel more deeply held and supported⌠in all ways possible.
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I used to struggle badly with Epstein-Bars symptoms. And daily I feel 1000% better⌠but there still is a shred of tiredness. There still is this shred of being depleted. And I am no longer willing to stand for that anymore. I choose to feel at least at 130% up to 150% vitality and life force daily. No more of this feeling at 85%. 85% is just not good enough and NOT how I choose to feel. I am going for overflow in the feeling department. It is time. But I canât do that dragging around all these archetypes with in my psyche. They have to go.
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So there will be quantum energy sessions to dismantle and energetically eject those archetypes and roles. There may even be a shamanic funeral ceremony for them. But I will not stay here. I will shift the energy. And I will be at 150% energy levels. Because that is what I really want. That is what is really important to me.
The roles / archetypes that your playing out in your life⌠the victim, the provider, the good girl, are all trying to âget stuffâ to feel safe / secure / loved etc.
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Your soul is not trying to do any of that. It is just trying to have as much fun and joy as possible.
When you still have a bunch of âissuesâ around a subject… you look for other people to tell you / show you how to do something.
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When you donât have âissuesâ… you just naturally make shit up. Have fun. Donât care. And it WORKS.
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