Dear money.
I am angry that I don’t have more of you. I am sad you never spend more time me. And I just wish you would stay longer. I have fun with you when you’re here, but you always leave. I have fun when you’re around, and then contract when you leave. I want you to show up in greater and greater amounts, and I want to have even more fun with you!
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Ok, so I literally write a whole letter to money $$$$$$. Like 2 pages. (Thank you Genevieve Rackman for the idea) I told money why I was mad at it. Why I resented it. What I wished it would do differently in our relationship…. and how I wanted money to show up for me.
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And it took me about 5 min to realize that alllll my emotional patterns concerning money are the same as the emotional patters I have around a romantic boyfriend lover in general. (And more specifically my ex) Generally I love money, and we have fun together and I love spending it. (I felt this way about my ex as well.)
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However, when I went deeper in my letter to money I was mad that I didn’t have more of it. I was sad that it never stayed. I felt like I always wanted more money but it never showed up as much as I wanted it to. And drumroll please…. I felt the same way about my ex-boyfriend!! I had the same issues / resentments / desires / and projections upon ‘money’ and I did on ‘what’s his name’. I have been bewildered as to why money doesn’t who up more for me. And I spent most of my last relationship being bewildered as to why my ‘ex’ didn’t show up more either!
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It is so interesting and such a revelation that I am literally having the same relationship dynamic with money as I am with having a boyfriend! When money is around I have a great time! When my ex-boyfriend was around we would have a great time. When I felt like he wasn’t going to show up I would contract. When I felt like money wasn’t coming I would contract also.
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I have done a lot of clearing and belief restructuring around money the subject / energy of money, and all in all we have a great relationship. But we do have a commitment problem. And a consistency problem. And a moving to the next level problem.
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Which, now that I see the underlying pattern in my consciousness I’m not surprised. I’m only supported it took me so long to notice! I’m so good at spotting underlying subconscious pattern. But I’m not too worried about it. I am going to let my subconscious mull this pattern over and ill make a decision as to how to change and shift the energy next week. It will probably involve energetically deleting and ejecting an archetype running in my psychic. It may involve a death ceremony for the archetype. Not sure. But it will shift. And I will have and create a new deeper and committed relationship with money.
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