I have to be honest here. I stilllllll get triggered by commitment stuff. (Well really…. LACK OF COMMITMENT) My lower brain was yelling to me earlier today…. you need to leave! What are you doing! You deserve more! Stop accepting so little!! And on and on and on. And I basically told it to shut up like usual. Because when you spend most of your time in Creator/Merlin brain you know your fears yelling at you doesn’t really matter and your super in charge here in your life.
So… yeah, I communicated via text message with my boyfriend this morning and got super triggered! Then I sat down on the floor and contemplated life. Then called my friend to talk me out of being upset. Then I got out my journal and started writing like no one has written before!!! And OMG! OMG! I had such a good journaling session and wanted to share.
So with notebook in hand, and Merlin state assumed… I got curious and asked myself some serious questions here.
BECAUSE I KNOW that stuck-ness in any area of your life is because you haven’t told your fears to hit the road and make the decision to re-write how your reality works for you. OR/AND you’re super not in alignment… Don’t know what you want… Don’t know what matters… Or aren’t sure what your REAL values are. And in this case. I was focused on the wrong things.
——>My ego was focused on how things should LOOK. <——- Instead of you know, supreme vibrational alignment on all levels. Like… Hello? Earth to Arwen. NOTE: supreme vibrational alignment on all levels requires:
>BRUTAL HONESTY WITHIN SELF
>CLARITY AS TO WHAT YOUR ACTUAL VALUES ARE
>IDENTIFYING WHAT THE TRUE DESIRE IS
>NOT BEING A CHICKEN S***
(Not necessary in that order lol!)
And what I realized after journaling is… NO I don’t want 2.5 children and to be social acceptable —> IF <— it means sacrificing alignment. And NO I don’t want to live in a split-level house and be married and have every little thing look perfect on the outside with little white flowers in neatly lined rows outside the front door. And NO I don’t want to do a things a certain way because THATS THE WAY EVERYONE ELSE DOES IT. Or that is the SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE WAY TO DO THINGS.
I want and I choose to do things the heart based way. Even if that makes me look odd to others from the outside. Even if that makes some people not understand. And even if that makes some people not want to be my friend. (They were never my people anyways)
I want to do and be on allllll levelssss what is aligned for me. What is heart based for me. And what is true for me on a SOUL LEVEL. And if I do have children, it will be the aligned thing to do. With an aligned partner. In an aligned way. And if I do have a house in a subdivision it will be because it is the aligned thing to do. (I whole doubt this though… I would prefer a downtown house if I’m going to have one at all)
This s*** is important!!!! These things are so not discussed in our society. When was the last time you heard someone ask “What is your soul longing to do?” Instead of “Well are you sure you want to do that? What do you think Tom, Dick and Harry down the street will think?” This is where the not being a chicken s*** comes in. You get to choose heart no matter what.
You get to choose soul no matter what. And you get to have it ALL no matter what. But you have to be aligned to create it. And it MUST be a MUST on a core level. Because you GET what is a MUST. Not what is a have to. Not what you think you should get so you’ll make your ego/your mothers ego/ or anyone’s ego happy. Because if you do what others want you to do, then it feels like a prison. Or you don’t know what you really want and what is really true for you in your heart… because you not CLEAR within yourself… That feels like a prison to.
And you are creating your reality. You get to write the script. You get to make the choices. And you get to design everything in a way that suits you. And is heart aligned. And is perfect for you. And makes YOUR HEART sing with joy.
Because that’s why your here isn’t it?