So… A few weeks ago I had changed my energy and suddenly got 3 dates in 1 week. I was super open and super magnetic to a new boyfriend coming into my life. And I was basking in how wonderful it was to get more dates and how much fun I was having and so forth. And then I told all my friends about it, and we were laughing and the vibe was high. Then I noticed how one of the men I had a date with wasn’t really what I wanted. And then I focused on that and then I focused on being sad cause what I really wanted was more emotional intimacy. (he was available for more sexual intimacy than emotional intimacy – and I choose to have both not just one.)
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And, I shut down my energy a little bit. I got out of being excited at the new men who were coming into my life. And then I put more focus on my biz because that is what is fun for me and what I just love doing endlessly. And though I do love that… it is ALSO an excuse to avoid intimacy. Now I want to be clear here. I am getting what I am getting because of my energy. I am not super open to emotional intimacy. If I muscle test for how open I am… I’m about 30% open. I am not open enough to be MAGNETIC enough to my desire for a relationship and intimacy coming into my reality easily and effortless. {which is WHY I got the man who was more open to sex than emotional intimacy}
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I have energetic shields up! Which is why the 3 men I attracted ALSO had energetic shields up. Because I am avoiding intimacy… I am attracting ‘no men’, or ‘men who are avoiding intimacy’. That’s it. When I shift and I decide to be 100% energetically available for deep intimacy with a man and I will ONLY accept that… and I choose / decide and affirm to put that 100% first in my life… then I will be a match. And then the man will come. And I know this. But I’m not really there yet. I’m still choosing to be avoidant and pretend that this isn’t a problem in my life etc. by writing this I’m saying… Hey I am choosing to not be open. I am still choosing to be annoyed. And hurt ect. And I’m not ready to change yet. Because we are always getting what we want. And at some point (probably in the next few weeks) I will make a new choice. I will choose intimacy. I will choose to calibrate that I can have the intimacy I want AND all the other things I want at the same time. And nothing needs to take away for anything else. Because I do know that. And it will happen when I decide / choose / claim and put it energetically first. So remember that. You are getting exactly what you want. Because the universe is just big giant mirror. Then end.
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