Client story (talked about with permission) So today in session I had someone come in, and she was confused about her pricing and her services a little bit. She was looking for clarity around what she wanted to charge and couldn’t decide on a number. So we energetically went into the patterns in her psyche and discovered that when she thought about posting her work on FB she felt one way about it and when she felt into posting her work on Instagram, she felt differently about it. Each group on social media she had… felt different, and thus… HER RESPONSE TO EACH GROUP was different. . So the group energy was DICTATING how she showed up. This is the same as you showing up differently based on WHO IS IN THE ROOM. It’s the pattern of changing yourself to be socially acceptable / included / wanted etc, in order to be safe & accepted, or in her case to ‘receive’.
She was subconsciously reading the group energy and then showing up and feeling her prices needed to be ‘X’ based on what she thought the group would ‘accept’ and she was confused around her offers, because she was changing her ‘offers’ based on what she felt the group would want. (So basically she does not know who she is, it’s who can I be in order to be loved) She was NOT making her decisions based on HER ENERGY. But based not theirs. So she was partially getting / deriving her value and worth from OTHERS, not from SELF. Her sense of what she could receive was based on ‘getting others’ to give to her, and how could she change herself to make that happen. It was NOT based on the intrinsic foundation that she is loved just because… and she deserves to receive just because.
So we moved a little deeper and as a child she was constant trying to figure out how to ‘acceptable’ to her mother in order for her mother to take care of her / get her needs met and not be ignored. And by needs, were talking about base level needs here. She never felt that she could receive just because. She felt she even needed to be ‘good’ in order to get fed. So were talking survival level needs here. This creates a pattern in the subconscious of I am too safe to be myself. I have to change myself to get my needs met. I have to change myself to receive. And you can’t even remember who you are!
Deep patterns like this that happen when your little if not resolved then create the pattern were as an adult you do these weird things, or get confused about things that you know shouldn’t be that hard. And you look around you and they’re not that hard for other people. But then your like, why is this so hard for me? And I find in my work it’s usually because of some patterns like this. But when the root core pattern is brought to the light it’s actually very simple. I’m sure from reading this you can just see how this pattern isn’t that hard to understand when seen at its core level.
And also a pattern like this, of not owning self all the way, and owning your value / worth / boundaries, would create a situation where people perceive that they can ‘move your boundaries’. So, that can look like friends / family members / clients asking you to sacrifice / change yourself / schedule / move your life around to accommodate them. And they do this because they can perceive that your on some level ‘ok’ or available for that. And so they do.
This can also cause people to question you / challenge your authority about things that another part of you feels they shouldn’t. And you may even be confused as to why people treat you this way. And it’s because they sense they can, so they do. They sense they can… because on some deep level you don’t feel like you deserve to have boundaries / or be who you are / or have your needs met. A lot of this has to do with running a care taker or people pleaser archetype. Which most of us all do, until we don’t, because these archetypes can be removed from the subconscious. (Ask me how I know this) and then you stop paying out the roles / emotional patterns / behavior patterns that create patterns like this.